Dear Auntie Sophia,

I have a problem. I love to talk and I enjoy the internet, so it seems natural for me to use that “online social media” I keep hearing about: Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Flickr, BickrSpace, InTheLink, YooHoo… whatever the kids are all using today, I can’t keep track!

Unfortunately my internet expertise stops with my crochet and knitting web forums, so trying to understand these other websites gives me the willies. I want to share pictures with my friends in Boca and see what my grandkids are up to in that Phonebook — er, Facebook — but I end up sitting at home talking to my pet fish instead.

What’s a disheartened grandmother to do?! I tried to read my cards on this, but I can’t make sense of them. Maybe you can give me some advice. Please help!


Social Grandma in Gainesboro

Auntie Sophie replies:

Dear Social Grandma in Gainesboro,

Of course you have a problem, why else would you write to Auntie Sophia? Of course, Auntie is quite in the loop on this social media. It’s a great way to promote my card reading services, and to get dirt on the competition. You’d be surprised at the dirty laundry that people post! And I’m not talkin’ about undergarments. Well, sometimes I could be, from some of the pictures I’ve seen people share. Whew!

But I digress. You wanted some advice. Auntie Sophia can help. Picture it: my desk, a Friday afternoon, me gently laying out three tarot cards. I flipped them over:

Three of Cups • Nine of Swords • Eight of Swords

Social Grandma in Gainesboro: it’s clear to me how you can nip this problem in the bud. First, you might consider a nip of the ol’ sherry to bolster your courage, because that Three of Cups tells me you need to lighten up. My card features three women laughing and dancing while stomping grapes. It reminds me of a party back in — oh, sorry, you don’t want to hear about Auntie. But the stories I could tell!

The Nine of Swords is the fear that grips you when you think of this social media. And the close Eight of Swords is the prison that traps you, leaving you bound and blind. Speaking of bound and blind, a young Auntie Sophia once attended a soiree while vacationing in Greece, and — but there I go, digressing again. These cards show you are fearful and trapped; unable to act because you choose to be powerless.

And at the same time they give advice, by shedding light on the nature of your problem. The Nine of Swords is anguish, it is true. But it is the anguish of nightmares, coming from fears that you have allowed to gain power; not necessarily a concrete obstacle or enemy. You have decided that going beyond knitting and onto Facebook is an ordeal, but only because you let yourself feel powerless.

That Eight of Swords? Not only is the woman on the card ruining a perfectly good dress by kneeling blindfolded in the mud, but nothing truly holds her there: she clenches her hair and she is kneeling off the side of the road. The road is blocked, but since she is not on the road, she’s not blocked. All she needs to do is remove her blindfold, call a dry cleaner and move forward!

Social Grandma, you need to do the same thing. Step around your self-imposed roadblock by realizing you can do this. The water in that Eight of Swords links to the Three of Cups: have fun if you want to break your self-imposed barriers. And you’re doing this to get in touch with people you care about. So follow that information super-highway to its destination: the sparkling city of social media.

Auntie is a big fan of prediction, so I also took a quick peek at the likely outcome, which is shown by The Sun. W00t! (That’s something the kids like to say online. Consider it a freebie tip from Auntie.) This Sun card features a triumphant, strapping young man returning successfully from his ordeals. A good card. I think you’ll do just fine with that social media.

Be sure to send Auntie Sophia a friend request on Facebook when you get there, dear. I’ll see you then!


Auntie Sophia